The Oddities of MiddleEarth
by Pippin the hobbit-elf
Summary: In the beginning, legolas finds a tiny teaspoon, and then gets attacked by and ElfEatingToilet! What will happen next! please R&R Dedicated to Jessica. May you always love your Faramir sock puppet. IDEAS WELCOME!
1. The Toilet Attack

Disclaimer: I dun own anyting lotr *huge sob *, so don't ya go and sue me, k?  
  
A/N. I know that this story doesn't make any sense, but I am extremely bored, and have just finished reading a book where the cutlery are taking over. long story.  
  
PLEASE R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (.)!!  
  
Legolas was walking down the road when he heard a strange noise. He pulled out his bow and an arrow and prepared to shoot when he heard a rustle in the bushes next to him. He stared at the bushes, watching them intently, when suddenly. a tiny little teaspoon tumbled out, its bowl gleaming in the dim sunlight.  
  
"Awe!" the elf said in surprise. "It's absolutely adorable!!!" he placed his weapons down on the ground and offered his hand to the little teaspoon. It eagerly fell into his hand and sighed. Legolas stood up, smiling at his founding, when the bush rustled yet again. Legolas waited and stared at the bushes when something else came tumbling out of the bushes.  
  
It was white and shiny, and the teaspoon started to tremble in Legolas' hand when the object started to stand up. Legolas gasped in horror as he recognized the porcelain figure. It was an Elf-Eating-Toilet!!!  
  
A/N: okay, I know that was short, but still. please R&R!!!!! 


	2. Aragorn Saves the Day

Disclaimer: I dun own anyting lotr *huge sob *, so don't ya go and sue me, k?  
  
A/N. I know that this story doesn't make any sense, but I am extremely bored, and have just finished reading a book where the cutlery are taking over. long story.  
  
PLEASE R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (.)!!  
  
Legolas ran as fast as he could, trying to get away from the toilet that was still chasing them through the underbrush. Suddenly, the elf ran into something. "Hullo, Legolas." A slightly rough voice said. Legolas looked and saw that he had run into Aragorn.  
  
"Hullo, Aragorn." He said breathlessly. "Can't talk now." Aragorn stared at the elf, confused. "Why not?" "Toilet. Attacking." Aragorn smiled. "I can handle this."  
  
Aragorn stood in the middle of the path, blocking the oncoming toilets way. The toilet slowed to a stop when he saw the Man, wondering what he was doing there. Aragorn bent down on his knees, prepared to fight.  
  
The toilet edged closer and closer to Aragorn, until suddenly:  
  
"BOOGAWOOGAWOOGA!!!!!" the man shouted, scaring the toilet. The porcelain figured scurried back through the forest yelping. Legolas clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Thank you, my friend."  
  
A/N: I need SUGGESTIONS!!!!!! Please r&r!!! would anyone like to be in the story as well? Please, lemmie know!!!!!! 


	3. BUSH ATTACK!

Disclaimer: I dun own anyting lotr *huge sob *, so don't ya go and sue me, k?  
  
A/N. I know that this story doesn't make any sense, but I am extremely bored, and have just finished reading a book where the cutlery are taking over. long story.  
  
PLEASE R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Legolas and Aragorn continued walking down the path, talking about how cute the teaspoon was. Legolas smiled at it affectionately while Aragorn was jibbering on about how he once had a tiny fork. "I know!" said Legolas, scaring Aragorn. "What?" Aragorn. Suddenly, something jumped out of the bushes, scaring both of the creatures.  
  
"Samantha!?" shouted Legolas as the something jumped out of the bushes, landing on Legolas and knocking his precious teaspoon out of his hand. "Samantha?" Aragorn repeated, just as another something jumped out of the bushes and landed on him. "Meara?!" Legolas stated accusingly. "Meara?" Aragorn repeated, now thoroughly confused.  
  
"What are you two doing here?" the elf questioned, pushing Samantha off of him to rescue his precious teaspoon, which was underneath Aragorn. "We followed you." Samantha said simply.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn stood there, staring at the two girls with blank faces. The crickets chirping in the background were getting disturbingly louder.  
  
Finally, someone made a move. The little teaspoon sighed such a small sigh, that the sigh was only heard by someone who could hear such a small sigh: Legolas. "Why the hell did you follow me here?" shouted Legolas, who was continuing to confuse Aragorn, so he left.  
  
Meara timidly stepped forward. "WELL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" the elf shouted. "Well, erm, Legolas. we were being chased by. by." the girl shuddered. "No! I can't say it! It's to horrible!" Meara broke down and started bawling into samantha's shoulder. Samantha gave Legolas a look.  
  
"Now look what you've done! Curse elves and their stiff necks!" Legolas stared at Samantha. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked. "Nothing." Samantha replied, continuing to comfort her sobbing friend.  
  
"Well, then why in the whole of middle-earth are you following me?!?!?!?!?" the elf screamed, causing a few of the birds to fly out of the trees. Both of the girls shuddered before Samantha finally spoke.  
  
"We. we were running. from.HIM!" she whispered timidly.  
  
"Who?" asked Legolas curiously.  
  
Samantha was about to attempt an answer when suddenly Aragorn ran back out of the bushes, his eyes wide in horror.  
  
"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!" the man shouted at them.  
  
"Oh no!" shouted Meara, her face white! She turned to face her friend. "He's. back." she whispered, terrified.  
  
"WHO!?" shouted Legolas for the second time. He didn't have to wait long for his question to be answered. The bushes started to rustle............. and out of the bushes jumped...................................................................... . DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!......................  
  
GEORGE (W) BUSH!!!!!  
  
The girls screamed and started to run away, but Legolas grabbed them by their wrists and forced them to stay. "What's so bad about him?" he asked. But all they would do is shudder uncontrollably.  
  
But, yet again, Legolas didn't have to wait long for his answer.  
  
"I bring peace. and .um. love!" the president said, advancing towards the elf, the two girls, and the man.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" they all screamed. Legolas, being the one who had the faster reactions, knocked an arrow on his bow and shot the scary guy. "I....bring....love!" he said as he died.  
  
The two girls sighed in relief. "Thank you, leggy-poo!" Meara and Samantha shouted before they ran off back into the bushes.  
  
Aragorn and Legolas stared at each other. "That was disturbing." Legolas said. "How much ya' wanna bet that they'll be back?"  
  
A/N: Okay, so how was that for longer, people? Hmmmmmmm? Well, I would like to say thank you to Luthien Katie for her Bush idea. I hopes you is liking it. And Is Loves Plurals- are you satisfied? Is it good? Is it to your liking? And you too, cookies-will-invade. Do y'all like it? PLEASE R&R!!! GIVE ME IDEAS!! AND NAMES!!! (if ya wanna be in the story, that is.) 


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE!

A/N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (.)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tankies to all of you that have responded to my storie. EXACTLY! (so ya all know, that's my "word")  
  
Yea, erm, the toilet....i plan for it to be back, but if he keeps giving me trouble, I might hafta sue him, and then he won't be going on the storie. *toilet starts crying in the background * ........Then can it, ya gay freak! *AHEM* yea.....  
  
Erm..Magikal star 135.....yea...you'll be put in soon, as soon as I can get over my writers block thingie.....*starts kicking the block, which happens to be made out of cement* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the f*** is it doing being made of CEMENT!!!!!!!!!! *looks over to her agent * YOU FRICKIN TOLD ME THAT THE BRICK WAS MADE OF STYRAFOAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT YOU OUT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*calmly straightens her clothes* right.....  
  
Well, I'll just go and tackle that writing block....for future refrance, some one remind me to NEVER EVER write five stories at one time and not expect a writers block.....  
  
*kicks block again.* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	5. Frodo's Captor

Legolas, Aragorn, and the cute little teaspoon took to wondering aimlessly down the wooded path. The Elf was rocking the tiny piece of cutlery in his hand, while Aragorn sang a lullaby to it. The teaspoon sighed happily as it fell asleep.  
  
"Awe, it's so cute!" cooed Legolas joyfully. Aragorn nodded in his agreement, even though he was eager to throw the teaspoon away. He thought it was eating way too much of their rations. "He's okay," he said half heartedly, chewing on an oversized milky way bar, chocolate and caramel smeared all over his face and tangled in his hair.  
  
Suddenly, there was a loud, resounding POP, and two short things appeared out of nowhere. Well, actually, they came from the pop, but to Aragorn and Legolas, who were a bit sleep deprived, they came from no where.  
  
"AH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Frodo and Sam as they saw the two people.  
  
"AH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Legolas and Aragorn as they saw the two Halflings.  
  
"AH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Frodo, as he turned and saw Sam standing next to him.  
  
"AH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Legolas as he saw Aragorn subconsciously picking his nose.  
  
"AH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Aragorn as his nose attempted to bite his finger off.  
  
"AH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Sam, upon seeing his master next to him, and realizing just how dirty he was.  
  
This went on for a couple more hours, but the author got bored of watching them and wondered off to Mordor and poked Sauron's eye, got burned, and ran home crying for her mommy to kiss it and make it all better.  
  
Thus, the four peoples went off down the path into the twilight world, all munching on giant oversized Malteasers packets.  
  
"AH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Frodo, as something came out of the tree above him, and knocked his malt ball out of his fuzzy feet. You see, the hobbits were walking on their hands, and eating with their feet.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO! Not my precious malt ball!" he called running down the path as his candy rolled away from him. The other members of the little group eyed each other as though they were clowns from a circus, and then helped the little thing chase his candy, leaving the mysterious person or thingie to follow them.  
  
Finally, the ball of yummy malt and chocolate was captured, and they all jumped onto it and began slobbering on it, marking their territory.  
  
"Ah-HEM!" said a voice from behind them.  
  
They all looked up eagerly, drool and melted chocolate all around their mouths. "Yea?" Legolas asked, cautiously wiping his mouth. The person grinned evilly and cackled.  
  
The hobbits and the ranger and the Elf eyed each other lustfully (a/n: ew!), and then slowly backed away from the girl. Suddenly, she stopped, and they all stood at attention, saluting her clumsily.  
  
"I am the one that they call Daisy, Dark, Dailight." She said with a casual wave of her hand, which slapped a flying elephant and knocked it dead. "Come outside with your hands in the air." It said as it died. "And surrender the orangatang."  
  
"Why do you have three names?" asked Aragorn, still picking his nose.  
  
"SILENCE!" screamed D,D,D, her screech scaring the Man senseless, and causing his to jam his finger in his nostril. "I am the one asking questions." With that, she turned to the Elf.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked sweetly.  
  
"Call me Ishmael." He replied, licking the snot that dripped from his nose.  
  
"Right. Who are you?" she asked, turning to the dark haired hobbit.  
  
"I'm Frodo. I am the Hero of this story."  
  
"You are not!" she cried. "I am the hero of the story!" "No, you're not, so shut it!" she cried, slapping herself hard on the cheek. "Why don't you to every shut up?" she asked herself, exasperated. She turned to the hobbit, who was now thoroughly creeped out. "I am sorry Frodo....wait a minute..." she gasped, her eyes going wide. "YOU"RE FRODO?!"  
  
the hobbit nodded timidly.  
  
"OMIGOD!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!" she cried. She rushed over and picked up the hobbit, squeezing him tight, and skipped off into the forest, the pleading cries of help from the hobbit as they got further and further away.  
  
Sam turned to the Elf and the Ranger, who had started to play a game of scrabble.  
  
"What do you propose we do, Master Legolas?"  
  
At this, the Elf stood up and promptly said: "1205839065839051534986412384355158115161564jkfmighfjdkmkl;jh354618975149809 69446 HIJKLMNOP spaghetti!"  
  
Aragorn and Sam nodded, the game disappeared, and the trio happily skipped, hand in hand, through the woods, possibly to rescue their friend, and possibly to go and find a banana to go and smell.  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Hehehehehehehehehe, I love my story. I think it's absolutely crazy. But then again, I am insane, which has been proved oh so many times before, but who really cares? It's boring here, but hey, go figure, it's England. Rain rain rain rain is all it knows. I miss the States! I miss Maryland, where it's nice and sunny and warm in march. Hmph.  
  
Okay, replies to peoples:  
  
Daisy, Dark, Dailight : Did I capture you good enough? Hmm? And yes, before you ask, you'll be back in the story. You did steal Frodo, anyway.  
  
cookies-will-invade : yea, you two can be in the story again soon. D' ya wanna help rescue the poor 'obbit? Hmmm..  
  
freedom summer : glad ya like. Yes, boredom, as well as anger, is a very good muse. Trust me.  
  
childer-of-lilith : yes, the toilet will be back.  
  
Luthien Katie : George bush? Done. D'ya like?  
  
Is loves plurals : I put ya in! enjoyed?  
  
Thintellumaien : I plan to do what you asked next chapter, so just hold on to your fuzzy blue oliphaunts, okay?  
  
MagickalStar135 : hm, the twins and glory... that sounds good... and evil... it's a deal!  
  
Thal_Greenleaf : you know, I truly don't know if founding is a word either, but Word didn't underline it, but ya never know.  
  
Well, until next time, sniff the shoe polish!  
  
PHE 


	6. The Fellowship of

A/N: soz ppls for not updating in like, forever, but yah, I'm back. And this is probably gonna be short, but yah, all the same, it's another chapter. Except this chappie is dedicated to cookies-will-invade cos of her depressing birthday the other day. So this is to un-depress you, dear! I hope you enjoy it, and yes, parentage is a word. At least, Word doesn't say it's not!

On with the story!

We last left Aragorn, Legolas, and Sam skipping off to go and smell a   
banana…?

Let us go and catch up with them now!

OoOoOoOoOoO

"I wonder?wut?por?mifter froto ?if up to?" said Sam with a mouthful of   
banana. You see, his hobbit instincts had gotten the better of him when  
he sniffed the yellow fruit.

"Huh?" Aragorn asked, looking up. He had been busy day dreaming about  
what would of happened if he had joined England for the Euro 2004 instead of   
setting out on some quest his daddy sent him on.

"They probably would of beaten Portugal." Aragorn mutters in the  
Author's ear, who nods in agreement, but quickly runs away when she sees a grey  
African parrot coming after her saying "Hello? Hello? Brenda? What?  
Hellooo?"

But our dear Legolas was unfazed by any of this, as he was happily  
feeding the teaspoon a bottle, since it had waken up from its nap.

"Don't you think you oughta give that thing a rest?" Aragorn asked the  
elf as he and Sam stood besides him. Legolas just shook his head.

"Well, hurry up, Master Legolas." Said Sam eagerly. "We need to go save   
mister Frodo."

"Why?" asked Aragorn in a teasing voice. "Do you love him?"

Sam shook his head, blushing. "Not like that, Mr. Strider, sir." he said simply. "I just think that that mister Frodo might be wantin' to be saved sometime soon."

"Oh." Aragorn said, sounding very disappointed indeed. (When you're a Ranger stuck out in the wild for 20 years, you'll understand. Or, at least, Aragorn said I will. I'm not even 20 years old yet, so I just wait to understand.)

Suddenly, there was a burst of blue, pink, and purple shiny light, and Legolas let out a string of colorful curses.

"Wow, that was definitely not the welcome we were looking for." said a light female voice.

"Yeah." agreed another. "Let's try that again."

There was another swirl of magical, sparkly colors, and as they disappeared, two girls remained where the colors had been.

"Who are you?" Sam asked as Legolas slapped his forehead.

"I am Samantha." one of the girls said cheerfully.

"And I am Meara." the other one said. "I'm the smarter one." she added in a whisper while Samantha began to poke Strider's earlobe.

Another swirl of magical colors, and there stood yet another girl.

"And who are you?" Aragorn laughed. You see, the Ranger's earlobes just happened to be the only ticklish spot he had. And with Samantha poking them in her endless poking streak, he was laughing so hard he laughed instead of spoke.

And yes, I do know that that made no sense what so ever.

"I am known as Crazyrabidfangurl." the girl explained.

"Wow, if that ain't a mouthful." Sam said. "I'm known as Sam."

"If you don't mind me asking," Legolas said slowly, holding the teaspoon close to him as though Crazyrabidfangurl was about to bite it. "Who are you a crazy rabid fan girl of?"

Crazyrabidfangurl grinned. "Why, you of course!" and with that, she tackled Legolas and that poor, vulnerable, helpless, sighing teaspoon who sighed sighs that only Legolas - A trained Sigh Hearer - could hear.

"Ay yi yi." Sam moaned. "Now we shall never rescue mister Frodo from that evil Daisy, Dark, Dailight!"

"What was that, master hobbit?" Samantha asked, standing straight and tall, her poking now complete.

"I said we shall never rescue mister Frodo from that evil Daisy, Dark, Dailight!" Sam repeated.

"Never fear, young halfling!" Meara said as she placed her hands upon her hips. Samantha followed in suit, and, suddenly, both girls had bath towels flowing out behind them into the non - existent wind. "We shall help save your mister Frodo."

"Help save your mister Frodo, we shall." Samantha agreed.

"Saving your Frodo that is mister is something that we shall help the process of." Meara put in.

"The Frodo that is mister shall be saved and returned to being yours." Samantha said triumphantly.

This talking like MoJoJoJo from the PowerPuff Girls went on for quite a while, before Legolas finally told them to shut up from underneath Crazyrabidfangurl.

So, shut up they did, and all six of them skipped off into the sunset, with Meara singing about her tailless cat Pippin and it's brother Merry, which Sam found funny, Aragorn found laughable, and Legolas found annoying, since he was still under Crazyrabidfangurl.

Yes, we end this chapter with a scene of love and friendship, for that is what truly makes the world go round. If this world was with out such things, where would we be today? It is times like these that the reader often tells the author to shut the hell up because they do not want stories of love and friendship. But I am sorry, my friends. For these six people are joined together by such forces.

They shall be…the Fellowship…of the…

"Banana!" Sam cried out.

"No, teaspoon!" Legolas grunted from under Crazyrabidfangurl, who shouted. "Legolas!"

"Naw, Malteasers!" Aragorn put in.

"Stupid hobbitses!" Meara said. "Cookies shall be the name of our Fellowship!"

"How about Pencils?" Samantha asked.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" the author hissed, and the giant Monty Python foot came crashing down upon them, smothering toe jam in their hair. Except for Legolas, whose precious, silky, golden locks were saved by Crazyrabidfangurl being on top of him.

"I like pencils." the author admitted. "Has a nice ring to it. But I think I should dig deeper into my heritage and go for my ¼ Hispanic-ness."

They shall be …the Fellowship… of …MI LAPIZ!

A/N: okie dokie then! Yet another chapter! Finally. I'm really sorry folks, but yah, this story sorta lost my interest for a while, and then when cookies-will-invade said she had a depressing birthday, I thought up of a whole buncha things to un-depress her! And there they are! Happy Birthday to you, cookies-will-invade!

And this story has the second most reviews out of all of my stories. Second Generation is in first place…I really need to write more to that….I will at school…It starts for the first time in 2005 in exactly seven hours and fourty nine minutes. And I haven't finished "To Kill a Mockingbird" yet. Or my English essay. Damn.

Well, R&R!

PHE


	7. Fellowship of mi lapiz

The Fellowship of mi lapiz

a/n: this chappie was not written by phe, but her friend jess, or cementhedgurl. any way, it may not be as random as hers, but i'll try...

as the six companions were trotting down the road, into the sunset, the tiny spoon in legolas's arms began to vibrateand let out an unusual sigh, that only legolas could hear.  
"i think there is something wrong with hubert! he didnt sigh like he usually does"  
aragorn looked at him in a funny way and said" you named it hubert? that has to be the gayest name ive ever heard."(sorry to all you peoples reading this, thinking, hey,i named my turtle hubert!, it really is a gay name)  
suddenly the spoon grew a head that looked like a tiny version of galadriel's. put me down you fool,she said to legolas. he dropped it. now that legolas had nothing in his arms, crazyrabidfangirl tackled him again. the spoon turned into galadriel who wa wearing a tye-dye t-shirt and baggy jeans and flip-flops. sam runs off yelling" tree huggers are taking over the world!" he runs into a tree, mumbles something about cheese covered chocolate balls and passes out.  
aragorns nose was trying to bite his finger off again, when he sees sam and runs over, and hocks a lougie on him."ha. thats for not liking frodo in that special way. you are not worthy being the president of the frodo fan club. i deserve it." he lets out a maniacle laugh, and galadriel looks at himwith admiration.  
"that was one of the best lougies i've ever seen, besides the ones that arwen can do. she must've learned it from you. she's really good at it, but so are haldir and glorfindel, but they're a bit iffy any way,so..." she rambles on for another five minutes and then notices that legolas is crying. "YOU KILLED MY SPOONY. HUBERT WAS SO YOUNG AND HELPLESS."while he was wailing, the fan girl tries to comfort him, then attacks galadriel.they are rolling on the ground and grunting(ew)when aragorn walks over and pours a bucket of mud on them, which only made it more interesting to him. he started to drool.  
"when my leggie poo is sad, i want to make what ever is making him that way stop. thats you. take that you tree lovin hippie!"she had just messed galadriels hair up. she screamed in anger and frustration and ran over to a tree, muttered something and chains wrapped themselves around her. now what are you going to do?" asked galadriel. legolas crawls over to sam and wakes him up, then all six of them walk away, leaving the hippie galadriel tied to the tree screaming the evil clans of weremonkeys coming to get her.  
sam wiped his face and felt the mucus. he looked at the other five peoples, and noticed that aragorn was avoiding him. samantha and meara ran up to sam and demanded that he admit that it wasn't banana time(phe knows what that is, ask her). now the fellowship was walking off into the dark and encountered mirkwood. this spider-dude walks out andlooked at them. with one breath and no pauses, he said"welcometomirkwoodforest.wehopeyouenjoyyourstayandhavealovelytimeinthenettiestroomsaround.pleasefeelfreetocomedownfor,er,tobreakfast.weappreciateyourvisitingourdeathtrap,uh,hotel"  
"well, looks okay to me and i cant wait to play net ball. get it, nets, and they're spiders, huh huh hmm." sam stops talking. as they wald towards the forest, daisy dark dailight jumps out with frodostrapped to her back. " step forwards and i'll transport him to a beach in the bahamas, ful of fan girls! how come you never take me to the bahamas. WILL YOU 2 SHUT UP?" frodo looks at the companions and asks them to rid him of this maniac.  
samantha and meara wald up and in unison say" We'll save you frodo. every one knows that frodo fan girls hate pics of sam(im not actually sure about that). take a look at this, DDD!" they hold up a lifesize pic of sam. she shreiks and runs off, forgets to unstrap frodo, who gets caught in a treeand hangs there. legolas runs up to him with his big knife and cuts him loose. he steps out of the way before frodo lands on him, letting him drop to the ground. he gets up and cheerfully looks at his companions and grabs sam's hand, and they frolick off into the rising sun, to find a mc donalds or a 24 7 wal mart.

hope you like. 


End file.
